A More Honest Rulebook

**HEY! This is SATIRE. But also, don't do these things, and hire a rulebook editor. **

Theme: Here's an overly long story that is only very tangentially related to gameplay. Someone on the dev team always wanted to write fiction and now this novella stands between you and finding out how to play. Characters in the story will not appear in the actual game. 

Components list: You had better not lose any; replacements aren't easy to get anymore. Just sharpie over anything that reads "Kickstarter exclusive." There are no instructions for how to put components back in the box. Everything fits if you throw out the expensive insert. 

Set up: Could be just a blurry picture with no labels OR just text with non-obvious names for components. No one knows which deck is the energy deck yet, and there is no symbol glossary. Hopefully, Rodney Smith has covered this game. 

Objective: The goal of the game is to get so involved in crafting and executing your strategy that your friend wins while you aren't paying attention. Most experienced player wins.

Determining first player: Come on now, this is the 21st century. Use an app and stop pestering designers to come up with something cute. 

To start: Did you read the rules before inviting people over? No? Bad news, you won't learn how to start the first turn, because instead you will first learn what every line of text on each card refers to. There is no quick start guide in the manual; the back page covers special edge case rules. Check BGG in a few weeks for a revised rules pdf. 

Order of play: Listed at length starting on page six. There is no turn summary in the rulebook or on the player aid (which is the only place the symbols are defined). 

End of game: Refer back to "Objective." End of game triggers listed at length in BGG errata. There's a round track and marker, but they're not listed in the components or set up. The game is over when the players give up in frustration. 

Scoring: Here's a bunch of numbers not listed anywhere else or very well explained. Hopefully someone recognizes the term triangular scoring. Bonus scoring conditions are only explained on the event cards. Most people just download the fan-made app. 

Variants: Read all the other rules. Now forget half of them and play this way instead. The fan-designed two player mode is better, but Rahdo didn't cover it. 

Card glossary: Just images of every card. Nothing is explained in depth. Still takes up the majority of the pages in the manual. 

Designer's notes: Cut due to lack of space. 

(Merry Christmas)